When it comes to sex, we mostly believe that it should be limitless. But there is actually a difference between uninhibited sex and one with sexual boundaries. If we can determine each of our boundaries, we could become fearless and free with the sex we are thinking of.

Knowing her boundaries could make you feel more secure as well, as these can serve as a guideline for you and your partner to achieve maximum pleasure. Whether you have a new or long-time partner, you need to know her sexual boundaries.

Here is the list of how you will know her sexual boundaries:

1. Ask for consent

Some of you will think that having her as your partner makes you entitled to do whatever you want. But, the most crucial foundation for you to establish to have a healthy relationship, whether it is sexual or not, is to ask for consent.

You should be vocal and open about what you want to do to her and what she wants her to do with you in return. Find out if she also wants it; otherwise, you should not do it. Give her time to understand what she feels as pleasurable so she can be able to communicate it with you.

Of course, it doesn’t mean that if she consented once, she allows you to do it whenever you want.  Know that she has the discretion to withdraw her consent anytime and that you should respect it. If you kept on doing something without her consent, it could become violence which might be punishable, so beware.

2. Set a safe word

It is a good idea to speak safe words with your partner. It is also one of the ways for you to get her consent every time you want to do something with her or her to do something with you. Safewords can be used as a boundary for sexual play as it provides a way for her to tell you whether or not she is comfortable with the sexual behavior you are portraying.

Although it might be hurtful if your partner says no, it can help your relationship maintain sexual health and safety. A safeword doesn’t need a lot of context or explanation, and it is a verbal sign that means to stop or no, and it can be conveyed and understood easily. This is helpful for partners who are not expressive on their sexual boundaries.

3. Be open about birth control and sexual health

Another extremely vital boundary that you have to establish with your partner is being open about birth control and sexual health. It is both your responsibility to have safe sex. If you are more aware of it, then be the one who should initiate safe and healthy sex.

Be open about your current health status. In this way, your partner will also be expressive about her sexual status too. Since diseases are already rampant due to sexual intercourse, you might want to know her last STI test. If you are not sure, you can use barrier methods like condoms or dental dams.

This step matters because aside from being safe while having sex with your partner, it can also be the best form of protection or birth control. This will make both of you enjoy pleasurable sex, compared to when you have fear or anxiety about getting pregnant, which could affect your orgasm.

4. Set your do’s and don’ts

It is important to set a guideline of your do’s and don’ts, as well as of your partner. As human as you are, you already have your sexual preferences and limits, the same thing as hers. You should know what she is comfortable with so that you will be aware of your sexual behavior.

It is helpful to get specific so that you can set clear boundaries for you and your partner to follow. You can even enjoy doing an activity with your partner who sets your body maps. In this way, your partner could be able to communicate what she wants specifically and do not like. For instance, she wants you to touch or kiss a certain part of her body. She wants you to take it slow or make it faster. Well, it depends upon your creativity.

5. Have an open communication

The conversation is not made yet after you and your partner have set each other’s boundaries. Setting boundaries should be continuous, meaning it should not be closed. As time goes by, there may be things that she used to want you to do that she eventually doesn’t want it to do to her. Do’s and don’ts can be adjusted accordingly.

That is the reason why it is important to have open communication with your partner so that you can understand each other’s boundaries within a certain time. This will enable you and your partner to have the most satisfying sex, ever.

Conclusion

To maintain your sexual relationship with your partner, it is important to set boundaries. This will enable you and your partner to express each other’s wants and desires, as well as dislikes. Consent does not make you entitled to do it all the time; instead, consent should be done in every act.

To get consent, you need to set a safe word.  It can help maintain sexual health and safety of your relationship. To avoid fear and anxiety, especially if you or your partner is afraid of getting pregnant, practice safe sex. Last and most importantly, keep your communication open.

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