Home Men's Health What Are Intimacy Issues?

What Are Intimacy Issues?

by Glenn Fitzpatrick
couple intimacy issues

Have you ever felt as if you’re no longer connected to your partner? That can happen when you are no longer intimate with each other. There are different kinds of intimacy, and intimacy issues may be caused by a variety of reasons.

We always hear people talking about intimacy issues in their relationship. But what are these issues really? Learn more about the different types of intimacy in a relationship and the signs that you are having intimacy issues.

Five Types of Intimacy

When the intimacy in your relationship begins to decline, it can be hard to reconnect with your partner, especially if you can’t put a name to whatever intimacy issue you’re experiencing. To understand intimacy issues better, take a look at the different types of intimacy.

Recreational intimacy

Do you like going to the gym together? Or maybe you enjoy each other’s company whenever you go for after-dinner walks. Some couples love to go hiking or camping together. Whatever activity it is that you enjoy doing together, it can really strengthen your relationship and keep you connected to each other.

Intellectual intimacy

It’s always a great feeling to be able to discuss anything and everything with your spouse or partner. Intellectual intimacy can help you understand your partner better, as well as increase your feeling of being understood. Doing mental exercises with your partner can greatly increase your bond with each other.

Spiritual intimacy

For some couples, not being able to share spiritual intimacy isn’t such a big deal, especially if the partners have different views on religion. For many couples, however, spiritual intimacy is a powerful glue that keeps the relationship intact despite many hardships and challenges.

Physical intimacy

getting cozy and affectionate in the morning

A strong relationship isn’t just about being able to discuss and do things together. Physical intimacy is also very important in maintaining the bond between partners. Physical intimacy is most often associated with sex, but there are also non-sexual forms of physical intimacy such as hugging, cuddling, kissing, and even just holding hands.

Emotional intimacy

A lot of people tend to confuse intellectual intimacy with emotional intimacy. Discussing various topics, as well as voicing out and listening to each other’s opinions fall under intellectual intimacy. Emotional intimacy, on the one hand, is about sharing your feelings, talking about your experiences, and having your emotions acknowledged.

Common Signs of Intimacy Issues

As there are five different forms of intimacy, it’s possible to feel intimate in one area but totally disconnected in another. For instance, your sex life may be totally wild and satisfying, but you don’t feel any intellectual or spiritual connectedness with each other. Take a look at the following common intimacy issues.

  • You tend to keep it to yourself whenever you feel a negative emotion toward your partner

Although this falls under emotional intimacy, it can affect other forms of intimacy in your relationship as well. For instance, it’s really hard to get in the mood for sex and cuddling when you’re harboring feelings of anger towards your partner.

  • Increased bickering and neither of you feel as if you’re being heard by the other

A lot of people tend to close their ears when their partner complains or nags. However, when you feel that you’re not being heard by your partner whenever you voice out your feelings, that can be a sign of emotional intimacy issues.

  • The relationship takes on a functional characteristic

You take out the garbage, she does the laundry. It’s good to share responsibilities when it comes to household chores, but when that’s the only thing that’s happening in your relationship, you will definitely feel a lot less emotionally or even physically connected to each other.

  • You feel more and more misunderstood by your partner

Emotional intimacy is crucial to any relationship, and feeling understood by your partner is part of that. However, when you increasingly feel misunderstood by your partner, that can lead to emotional withdrawal, relationship boredom, and less sex.

  • Decrease in intensity and frequency of sexual intercourse

There are times when couples don’t have sex as much as they used to such as during pregnancy or if one partner is sick. However, when your relationship continues being sexless for a long time, other problems are bound to happen such as infidelity, anxiety, depression, or divorce.

Maintaining Physical Intimacy in Your Relationship

All forms of intimacy are important in a relationship, but physical intimacy is the one that really keeps the passion burning in your relationship. It doesn’t always have to be sex, especially if you’re both already approaching your senior years.

Always hold hands

There’s something touching about an elderly couple walking hand in hand. If older people can do it, so can you. Holding hands may not be as erotic as sex, but it’s a great way to maintain that feeling of connectedness with your partner.

Hug whenever you can

If you want to maintain that feeling of physical connectedness with your partner, hugging is a great way to do it, even if it’s a non-sexual form of physical intimacy. Giving your partner a back hug while she’s making breakfast is definitely one of the most romantic ways to start your day as a couple.

Kiss goodbye before you leave for work

Even if it’s just a peck on the cheek and not a drawn-out French kiss, kissing your partner before going to work is a simple yet effective way to preserve the romance in your relationship.

Have sex as much as you can

Many people believe that sex is the most intimate way to keep the fire burning in your relationship. Yet, there are many long-term couples who forget or disregard the value of sex in a committed relationship. As much as you can and while you still can, enjoy sex with your partner.

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