Home Men's Health What Is an Intimacy Anorexic?

What Is an Intimacy Anorexic?

by Glenn Fitzpatrick
man unhappy in bed

It would be satisfying if everyone had stable and fulfilling relationships. Sadly, the world is full of people who are struggling with relationship problems such as trust issues, infidelity, and lack of physical and emotional intimacy.

Are you also suffering from a lack of intimacy in your relationship? Do you feel like your partner is deliberately withholding love and affection? Learn more about intimacy anorexia and how to tell if someone is intimacy anorexic.

Overview

When there’s a lack of intimacy in your relationship, it’s possible that it’s not just because you two have grown apart from each other, but rather because one of you is suffering from intimacy anorexia.

It’s actually a relationship disorder that is typically characterized by a significant lack of intimacy within the relationship. This lack of intimacy happens as a result of one of the partners actively withholding sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, as well as spiritual intimacy from the other partner.

Whether you’re married or not, this lack of intimacy can greatly harm your relationship. It can even cause your relationship to break down. Needless to say, it can result in great pain and loneliness for both of you.

What Can Cause Someone to Become Intimacy Anorexic?

Understanding someone who is intimacy anorexic can be very challenging. However, knowing what causes intimacy anorexia may help you figure out how you can manage your relationship when your partner is intimacy anorexic. Here are four known causes of intimacy anorexia.

Sexual addiction

If your partner is suffering from sexual addiction and is fulfilling her sexual needs outside of your relationship, then she may no longer feel the need to be intimate with you.

Sexual trauma

A factor in numerous mental disorders and addiction, sexual trauma is also one of the most common causes of intimacy anorexia. In many cases, sexual trauma victims try to cope with their negative experience by coming up with defense mechanisms such as withholding intimacy or avoiding sex.

Role modeling neglect

A relationship role model is supposed to show you how you can nurture your relationship. For many intimacy anorexics, they are unable to engage in intimacy within their relationships because they don’t know and they don’t have any good examples to follow.

Attachment issues with a parent

If the opposite-gender parent is emotionally distant, the child’s perception of that parent may be generalized to all members of the opposite gender. Such negative parental behavior can influence the child’s future relationships and the ability to engage in intimacy.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is Intimacy Anorexic?

Experts have identified several characteristics that define intimacy anorexia. Check for these signs to see if your partner is intimacy anorexic.

Too busy

It’s not that your partner is busy because of your work. It’s more like your partner is too busy to spend time with you. You may often hear your partner say that she’s too busy to spend intimate moments with you.

Withholding love

This is one of the most common characteristics of an intimacy anorexic. Your partner may withhold her love and affection for you because she either doesn’t understand why she has to show love and affection or she doesn’t know how to do so. She may also knowingly withhold her love because she thinks it gives her control.

It’s always your fault

Blaming the partner is an intimacy anorexic’s way of shifting the blame away from themselves. If your partner has intimacy anorexia, she may find it difficult to acknowledge how she might have contributed to the problems you are facing. She may also be unwilling to solve the problem together because in her mind it’s your fault anyway.

Withholding sex

woman ignores husbandIt’s very difficult to build intimacy with someone who always avoids sex and intimacy. Those who engage in this behavior may also avoid being emotionally connected during sex, if they engage in sex at all. This is actually one of the characteristics of intimacy anorexia that’s very easy to identify.

Blocking feelings

When you’re in a relationship, it’s always nice to be able to share your feelings with your partner and to have your partner do the same. However, someone who is struggling with intimacy anorexia tends to avoid sharing their feelings with their partner. They also tend to block out their partner’s feelings, thus preventing emotional intimacy.

Withholding praise

We all need affirmation and praise from time to time, especially from our partner. An intimacy anorexic, however, tends to withhold praise and encouragement. Some may think that praises and compliments are not necessary in a relationship, but withholding praise can actually prevent intimacy from deepening in your relationship.

Always criticizing

While it’s already bad enough that your partner is withholding praise and encouragement, it’s even worse when it’s coupled with frequent criticisms. Feelings of being understood and cared for does contribute to intimacy. However, an intimacy anorexic can ruin that feeling of intimacy by always criticizing and finding fault.

Like living with a roommate

If your partner has intimacy anorexia, you may find yourself feeling as if you’re living with a roommate. That’s because an intimacy anorexic tends to impose limits on the relationship such that whatever intimacy you may have shared in the past disappears.

Is Treatment Possible?

If you and your partner would like to bring back the intimacy in your relationship, you can overcome intimacy anorexia. If you prefer resolving the problem on your own, communication is definitely important.

However, since intimacy anorexia is a complicated problem, you may want to consider seeing a therapist. Counseling sessions with a licensed sex therapist may also be helpful. Your therapist should be able to guide you and your partner in identifying and resolving your relationship issues, as well as in rekindling the intimacy in your relationship.

Your sex therapist may also be able to help reintroduce sex in your relationship with your partner. To make sure that you’re up for it, don’t forget your daily dose of Male UltraCore. With Male UltraCore, you can always be confident that you can deliver the best sexual performance your partner could ask for.

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